Hilarious contract screw-up on a Carrier mini-split install

So I'm quoting this job for a ductless Carrier mini-split in a guy's attic, and I throw in the standard contract with all the clauses about payment terms and change orders. Guy reads it, signs, then calls me back laughing his ass off because he thought the 'force majeure' part meant I could bill him extra for acts of God like his wife changing her mind mid-install. Had to explain it don't work that way, but now he's all paranoid about hidden fees and wants to rewrite the whole thing with his buddy who's a lawyer. Meantime, I'm just trying to get the damn thing roughed in without any more comedy. Swear, these contracts are supposed to protect us but half the time they just confuse everybody. Anyone else got a funny story from a boilerplate gone wrong? Saw a similar rant in the HVAC Techs Network group last week.

man that sounds like every residential job i do, clients see legalese and freak out

ugh same here, just had a contract mixup on a heat pump swap and the customer bailed

contracts are a pain but better than verbal agreements every time

use service titan for templates, cuts down on the confusion big time

screw these homeowners, always trying to nickel and dime after signing

frustrated as hell with the last one, thought arbitration meant i was suing him already

i feel you brother, been there with a furnace replacement gone sideways

every damn time, clients sign then act like they never read it

those pe backed companies are ruining it for all of us with their shady fine print

sharkbites in contracts? nah, stick to plain english or lose the job

had a good laugh with a client over that once, ended up doing the job anyway

book some time for explanations upfront, saves headaches later on